Log Line - Two boys awaken to an empty town, an empty world and a note with a destination for danger. they must rely on eachother if they hope to survive
I am very excited to find out what happened to the whole world and why everything is empty. I think that you might be able to find a different way to flow the end of the first sentence however because "a note with a destination for danger" sounds a little odd. is the destination dangerous or is the journey? that is a little bit confusing but the idea is right on! shine bright kid.
This plot is definately getting somewhere, you can already picture what it looks like. But it may be missing something that gives that final pizazz. I can't really explain what I mean, but something that really makes this story original, Then I'd most definately be hooked in by it.
I am very excited to find out what happened to the whole world and why everything is empty. I think that you might be able to find a different way to flow the end of the first sentence however because "a note with a destination for danger" sounds a little odd. is the destination dangerous or is the journey? that is a little bit confusing but the idea is right on! shine bright kid.
ReplyDeleteThis plot is definately getting somewhere, you can already picture what it looks like. But it may be missing something that gives that final pizazz. I can't really explain what I mean, but something that really makes this story original, Then I'd most definately be hooked in by it.
ReplyDelete